The General

My story

🐾 🪖 THE GENERAL’S OFFICIAL STATEMENT OF FLUFFTHORITY 🪖 🐾 Codename: The General Rank: Supreme Commander of the Snuggle Battalion Mission: Operation: Home Sweet Forever LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS— I mean… sweet, loving potential adopters. Ahem. Let me introduce myself: I am The General, hero of the Cuddlefront, first of my name, master of the Chirp Offensive, and founder of the Fluff Forces United. I have led countless campaigns from the Battle of Bedtime Belly Rubs to the Great Lap Takeover of 2024. My weapon? Charm. My armor? Chonk. My weakness? Butt scratches delivered with military precision. Do not be deceived by my title — I may sound like I bark orders (well, meow them), but truthfully, I am sweeter than a field full of cinnamon rolls on Valentine’s Day. A teddy bear in a tactical vest. The most tender tough guy you’ll ever meet. I am soft. I am loyal. I am round. And I have never retreated from a snuggle. In my barracks — a plush cat bed reinforced with cozy blankets and strategic fluff deployment — I craft the world’s most legendary biscuits. I knead with honor. I purr with pride. I chirp constantly, rallying the troops (that’s you) for attention and affection. I don’t demand love… I simply issue very persuasive affection orders. My physique? Let’s call it compact tank mode. I’ve got the build of a cannonball and the soul of a poet. Sturdy, snuggly, and always ready to roll directly into your lap like a purring bowling ball of devotion. You will not resist. You cannot resist. Every hand is a friend. Every lap is a landing zone. Every butt scratch is a medal of honor. I accept all pets with great dignity and reward you with immediate rumbling. That’s what we call mutual respect in the cuddle corps. Now, I may not be a kitten. I’ve seen a few winters. I’ve fought some battles (mostly with string), and I’ve lost a few comrades to early adoptions. But I’ve remained steadfast in my mission: to find the one human worthy of my unconditional, over-the-top, full-body-purr brand of love. RECRUITMENT NOTES: 🪖 Must be prepared for random affection ambushes 🪖 Will be subject to nightly biscuit patrol 🪖 Must allow feline occupation of laps, beds, hearts, and sunbeams 🪖 Bonus points for warm laundry piles So—what say you, civilian? Ready to welcome a true hero into your home? Swear me in. I’ve been training my whole life for this mission… and it ends with you. 🐾 THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS LOVE.

If you have any questions or would like to adopt The General, please reach out to the adoption group directly. PetSmart Charities does not facilitate the adoption process. Thank you.